Famili Ceria bersama Helmi Harun

I have a taken a 2 week vacation from blogging even though the only thing I have been doing all this while is laying on the couch; sleeping or watching the damn TV. Well, last week I made something productive as I participated in MISA's Famili Ceria bersame Pijoi.

My team consisted of my temporary roommates Acai and Fu. To everybody's suprise, being the lazy ass that I am I made a huge contribution to my team's success. Our team blasted the other teams off the charts. They practically bitch-slapped got their asses kicked. Seriously. We were that good. Maybe it's because of my charisma. WTF????We won first place and got an awesome prize. A bag of goodies: 2 jumbo packs of Lays potato chips, 2 bottles of soda and a pack of oreos. There were only prizes for the champions and runner-up. Deya x dpt ape2 pasal team die loser gile. KWAKWAKWA

Anyhew, that isn't the reason why I wanted to do this blog. When I received the prize, the only thing on my mind was to protect it from the hands of Khaidir and penyangak2 yg lain. I would have run straight to my room just to make sure the dudes didn't have a chance of taking my munchies. To me, I had earned that prize on my own and I am the only one who deserve to eat those goodies.

And then I saw the second place team (Ayoi, Farah n Syikin) opened their bag of goodies and sharing the munchies with everybody. I was so fucking humiliated .. I mean inside I thought how self-oriented could I be. Even though I ended up sharing my food with the guys, it was still was not an excuse. The other group did it voluntarily, I on the other hand did it out of embarrassment, embarrassed with myself.

I mean to what extend am I going to be like this, until the day I die? Even my close frens (Serip, Nick etc) have criticized me for making decisions without thinkin how it may effect other people. Serip did say gua selalu berkire and I don't have any objections to that statement. I somehow believe that I have treat my frens that way.

It's hard for a man to let the world know of his weakness. I guess what Nick said about me correctly describes me. I am a "selfish fuck"(Nicholas Gani, January 2004). Sad but true. Hopefully one day I will change coz it's humiliating being the only one who thinks of himself. I'm already 24 years old but I still think like a 12 year old. I guess maturity is still far away from me.