Sekolah sekolah KU

Sorry guys .. gua mmg busy gile lately xde mase nak tulis blog. But since my man ASSrif HOLEmar passed me the baton I had to do this one.

How many schools did I go to?
1) Tadika Wirawati - I included Tadika Wirawati bcoz apparently Judd also went to the same Tadika. Judd buat reunion jom! selamber!
2) Sek. Ren. Keb. Tmn. Melawati - there's nothing much for me to say here except that this is the place where I met my 2 best frens, Hazman and Sanjay. And btw Phuq you Man, aku balik M'sia bukan nak jumpe aku. Sedey sial member buat camnih.

Now comes the better part.
3)
That's right Sek. Men. Keb. Tmn Melawati. Gua mmg all the way Melawati sampai Form 3. Nak cakap byk pengalaman tak jugak pasal everyday gi skolah balik itu jer. I don't think there's anymore to it.

This is kind of weird but even though there are a lot of girls in the picture, I was never close to one. Cakap pon 2-3 kali setahun je. I was so damn shy to talk to girls back then. Sometimes I still have that feeling when I talk to girls, rase cam tak nak cakap pasal malu sgt. I don't know why.
Since Gua mmg x cakap ngan betina, jantan jer laa yg gua layan. 11 org nih boley dikatekan member rapat gak aaa. Buat study group skali, main bola, gi Mid Valley tgk wayang, etc. Diorang nih laa live aku. Ke mane diorang pegi aku pegi.

4)
MRSM Pengkalan Chepa - Kalau tak silap, waktu batch aku amik SPM, Maktab aku laa skola dpt result terbaik seluruh negara. Mmg bukan gua nak berlagak ke nak poyo ke ape, but when we found out that we were the best and we beat MRSM Taiping, pergh happy gile babi. Gua ingat aaa mmg tak abih2 berlagak depan dak Taiping bcoz the public asyik assume Taiping yg the best, skali kiterorg dpt no. 1 rasa cam on top of the world. Seriously, nih bukan poyo2 beb. Cerita betul nih beb.

Inilah 1st seumur hidup aku, aku sambut birthday .. ngan classmate plak tuh. Another thing, dengan pompuan2 nih laa aku 1st time berinteraksi ngan kaum Betina. Takkan asyik nak jantan je sampai mati. I'll die a virgin aaa gitu. Byk aaa pengalaman2 with my classmates yg gua xleh lupe ... kalau gua explain kat sini pon nanti jadik panjang lebar plak. Sayang xde gambar asrama aku.

This is my gang kat PC. My classmate. Aku berdiri sebelah pengetua tuh jgn main2. Rambut jambu lagi. Everyday kiterorg nanti hangout depan class waktu recess and Pok Yie and Jaha akan pow gula2 batuk yg aku beli dr Co-op. Mamat sebelah kiri pengetua tuh name die Lijid(Fadhli Majid). Aku siap ade buat lagu tema utk die waktu kat PC dulu. Saso de Smak tuturutu turu Saso de Smak. Mmg bodo gile aa tapi dr Form 4 sampai ke Form 5 lagu tuh melekat. The 2 years I spent at MRSM PC were the best 2 years of my life(Eurotrip to lain cite .. itu bercuti namenye). Mmg waktu last day nak blah dr dorm tuh terase macam nak menangis bcoz I had to watch my frens leave one by one. Seriously, kalau boley mmg nak continue blaja kat sane je. That's how hard it was it was for me to leave the place.

5) UTM Skudai - I enrolled for an express program right after SPM. So ade gak aaa waktu tuh dpt jumpe member2 PC aku .. but bukan yg biase aku hang out with .. so still terase sedey gak aaa.

6)PPP Seksyen 17 Shah Alam - Gua pon xtau aaa ape yg gua buat kat sini. Hari2 gi class bukan blaja pon .. dok rilek je. Mlm gi kuar lepak ngan Esyam .. kat PPP nih laa aku menjadik semakin rapat ngan Esyam, Kuyu and Yeng .. member2 PC aku.
7) University of Wisconsin - The place where I'm at right now. Ade gak aa pengalaman menarik kat sini .. dok tempat mat salleh kan .. not as good as MRSM PC.

Was I the studious nerd or the last minute Hero?
I would have to say I still am the last minute Hero but before I entered MRSM PC, I was the last minute nerd. Bukan senang nak jumpe nerd yg study last minute.

Was I the class 'taiko' or the teacher's pet?
Gua rase aaa until MRSM PC I wasn't the class 'taiko' or the teacher's pet. Tapi dah masuk PC gua depan cikgu mmg teacher's pet aaa blakang .. ade gak 'taiko' sikit2. Gua ingat ade skali tuh Cikgu Zaidi (Cikgu Homeroom aku dan juge Warden) masuk bilik aku pukol 12 mlm. Obviously waktu tuh aku dah baring atas katil nak tido aaa kan. Die marah roommate2 aku nih. Die cakap "Kamu tak nampak ke Badrul tgh nak tido tuh .. kenape tak tutup lampu lagi!! Dah tgh mlm dah nih!!" Roommate gua sume panas. Krohkrohkroh.

What was the biggest rule I broke in school?
Hmm kalau x silap aku aku penah ponteng skola waktu sekola rendah dulu .. a couple of times gak. Ade skali tuh kantoi ngan parents aku haha. Tapi kalau cite yg lagi menarik. When I was in PC I was really active in Merentas Desa. Bukan setakat peringkat skola je. So ade aa skali tuh aku nak masuk Larian Antarabangsa Kelantan. Syarat die borang tuh kene hantar skali ngan tin Isomax sebijik. The night before the dateline gua xde tin Isomax lagi. Gua cuak aaa .. gua mane ade kecemerlangan akademik kat PC nih harap sijil merentas desa nih je la. So gua pon tekad utk fly. I remember clearly. The time was 11.30 pm. Tgh mlm nak fly sorang2 gile x gile. Gua panjat pagar blakang bilik aku. Ohh yeah I forgot to mention. Atas bilik aku bilik warden. Dgn selamber je aku panjat x pk langsung warden nampak ke tak. Gua jln kat 10 minit gi kedai Bapok. Skali die dah tutup. Gua pon menggelabah aaa. Jln plak gi Cabang Tiga tuh ade lagi 10 minit. Gua terlupe aa plak on the way gi Cabang 3 tuh ade Balai Polis. Mmg menggeletar tgn aku jln slow2. Skali sampai Cabang 3 tuh ade kedai runcit almost nak tutup. Alhamdulillah. Selamat aku. Gua beli 2 tin sekali gus, dpt balik tenage jln balik. ade kat 20 minit jln sorang2. Cuak woo. Skali bile gua sampai kat dorm, Exco Sukan, Muziman, Die dah gi fly belikan sume org satu tin. Gua mencarut x ingat dunia aaa ape lagi.

3 Subjects I enjoyed
1) Mathematics and Modern Math - From Standard 1 to Form 5, I have never ever got anything other than an A.
2) Pendidikan Jasmani - Kalau x silap, my PJK teacher when I was in Form 2 was Cikgu Zainal. Member campak bola bagi bebudak main. Pastuh die gi blakang blok layan ciggy.
3) Sociology 134 - Racial issues in America
Best gile class nih .. dok dlm class tgk video buat2 lawak bodo sume .. satu2 nye class yg aku amik kat U of Wisc nih yg aku enjoy.

3 teachers that inspired me
1) Pn. Siti Hani (MRSM PC - Chem teacher) - Helped me a lot with Chemistry
2) Cikgu Mat Derasid (MRSM PC - Bio teacher) - bagi aku minat nak blaja Bio .. kalau x mmg garenti fail nye.
3) Pn. Nik Faridah (MRSM PC - English) - Cikgu paling sporting penah aku jumpe

Tige2 cikgu nih mmg gua ingat sampai mati aaa. Byk sgt jasa ngan gua.

My turn to tag
1) Syu Adnan
2)Meon
3)Fido
4)Mazree
5)Ijat

Firenze Santa Maria Novella : Blow Job in the train

I know it's old news but I just wanna finish up with my Eurotrip stuff and move on. So, after Pisa it was Florence a.k.a Firenze. I'm not dure whether Firenze was the birth of Christianity or something but there were a lot of monuments that relate to that like statues of Leonardo and David, who are the prophets (I think).Like any other Italian city, Firenze has established for a very long time. So, everything looks kind of oldish .. I mean the buildings or whuteva.

Anyways, when both King Kong and I were at our hostels, we met 2 Americans from Illinois. I forgot their names so just call them Jason and Brad. They told us that while on their journey from Amsterdam (if I'm not mistaken) to Firenze (which is like a 18 hour ride), they met a couple of American chicks. They took a night train btw. And during that night when Brad was fast asleep, Jason was wandering around and somehow bumped into those 2 chicks were so damn horny at that time. So Jason took 1 chick to the toilet. The other chick asked Jason bout Brad but he told her that he was asleep. So Jason just went with the 1st chick to the toilet. He was hoping for a nookie but only got a Blow Job.

The next morning when they arrived at Firenze, Jason talked to Brad about what happened yesterday. He told Brad "I've got some bad news and some good news. The bad news is yesterday I got a Blow Job from one of the chicks but it was a lousy one. She was an amateur. She didn't know how to suck shit. The good news is that the other chick was asking for you and she was really horny dude." Brad already pissed off at his friend here asked him " Why the fuck didn't you tell me??" and Jason replied "Dude, the other bitch was sucking my cock in the toilet .. how the fuck do you expect me to tell you?" Brad was angry at Jason until they arrived at the hostel where they met us. And guys I didn't make this story up .. maybe the names but not the story. C'mon aa beb, ingat gua nih suke buat2 cerita ke beb.

Anyways, meeting those 2 crazy Americans made my stop at Firenze more memorable as it was so damn funny.

There's nothing better than 2 muscular men grabbing each other in the nude

Niccolo Macchiavelli

Next: Roma Termini

Daily Gullible : Your Guide to Buying a New Car

Most of us are already young adults now. You will reach a time when you already have a steady job and what more to do then to spend that money you just got on a brand new car. We all have different reasons for buying a car. Many of us guys are just doing it to impress the girls while there are still some noble ones who just buy cars for the sake of moving from one place to another.

So, Daily Gullible has found a couple of ways to help you decide on your future car.

First and foremost, the most important criteria you must consider when buying a car is that you look awesomely great in it. It doesn't matter if you're fat, look like an Orang Utan or just plain ugly. If you look good in your car, chicks will dig you. They'll think "Hey, if I ride with this dude, I'm gonna look super hot"

Next, you must have the right clothes to go with your ride. If you're like my man Kadak who's wearing Asrif's huge underwear on his head, you might have to take a reality check on yourself. Doing this means you are definitely not gonna get laid ... at all.If you plan to ride your car with your friends, make sure to take your best friend only. Otherwise, those other ass holes won't pay for gas.Btw, that's me sitting next to Asrif, back in our MRSM PC days

Or perhaps if you just don't give a shit about your buddies because the only important thing to you is chicks. You need to get a car that will make the chicks jump inside your car without you asking them to do so. And that my friend, needs some wishful thinking. The car has to look sexy and has an element of finesse in it. It has to be masculine but doesn't show that you're self-centered and obsessed with how fast the car's maximum speed. And yes men are self-centered. You don't have to argue about that.

So, guys be sure to make the right choice when buying a car and make sure you're the one making the final decision ... not the girl coz she's gonna ask you to buy a sleezy VW Beetle or Hyundai Accent(the one that Meon has krohkrohkroh).Happy Car Shopping!!

p.s If you're wondering where the remaining pictures went, well let's just say I had to deal with some copyright issues.

Daily Gullible : Idiots' No. 1 Newspaper

March 3rd, 2006 - The Malaysian Goverment has gone on a rampage and suspended a blog because it showed a picture lampooning Prophet Muhammad. Anarchy in Dystopia which is the title of the blog, is owned by Madison's own number 1 bachelor, Fido. He has been maintaining the blog for a couple of years now, providing his frequent viewers with intellectual writings with issues that range from economy to politics to just being patriotic.

Fido said he received a call on the suspension from the Internal Security Ministry yesterday evening. They also told him that they are thinking of revoking his Malaysian passport as there were some articles from his blog that criticised the Malaysian Government and the way they ruled the country.

Meon, a close friend of Fido said that the goverment's suspension of Fido's blog is ridiculous. "What the fuck is this? We can't have our own fucking opinions? Fido was just expressing his thoughts regarding the issue and he wasn't even supporting the newspapers for publishing those caricatures of the Prophet. He was in fact criticizing them for mis-using the term 'freedom of speech'. What the fuck is wrong with that?" he added.

Fido said that he didn't regret writing that article as he believes that what he wrote was right. But he was clearly pissed of suspension and the thought that the government wants to revoke his Malaysian nationality. "I don't give a shit what they (the government) are gonna give me. I'm a proud American and America is the best nation in the world. We can win the World Cup !!!" Fido somehow being supportive of the American soccer team.

Anarchy in Dyctopia was suspended for reproducing offensive caricatures of Prophet Muhammad. Fido said he will appeal and perhaps go to International Court to fight for his blog. He said he won't dissapoint his supporters (if there are any).

p.s - This article was written just for the sake of humor. If any of you believe any part of this article, you are clearly a fucking idiot. The other thing I want to state is that I am thankful to the Malaysian Government for giving me the opportunity to study in the U.S.A. Satu lagi projek Barisan Nasional yang berjaya! Hidup Barisan Nasional!!